Somewhere I Belong
by lovedrreid
Summary: Reid finds what Gideon told him at the end of Jones to be true, but as he tries to follow his mentor's words, he is persuaded differently.


A/N: Okay, time to take a break from my angst stories. If you read them, you know that at one point, the same chapter was the same thing, Reid in the hospital... most of my one shots are about suicide, and I really need to get out of that habit. Kay... here we go!  
-

"I don't understand..."

"You don't have to." The hazel eyes looked mercilessly at the dark ones. Not shifting his gaze, the silence filled the room to which the quiet battle was taking place.

"But what do you mean?"

"Exactly what I said."  
-

Two Days Later:

"What do you mean you're leaving?"

"Exactly that." Reid said firmly. "I can't take it here anymore. I don't know why I was pretending to be good at this job. I can't shoot... I can't deal with my own emotions, and everything that goes on is just pushing me away."

"I'm not going to stop you. Just know what you're leaving. Your family, friends, job."

One Day Later: (Reid's last day)

Sitting at his desk, the others approached him after they'd got the news.

"Hey! Why are you leaving? You're just going to leave us like Elle and Gideon did? That's so selfish of you, but fine, I don't care, just like you don't." Morgan said angrily.

"I thought you were never going to leave, that you'd always be here for Henry." JJ said in her disappointed tone. "You were supposed to be here."

"You're leaving your friends, where'll you go?" Prentiss asked.

"There aren't any other solutions?" Rossi asked.

"Sometimes goodbye's the only way. I have to go. I might be back, I might not. Who knows. I'm just going to see if I can find my old self, before I became uneffected by bodies, by gore, by this job. I'm not that naive kid anymore. I don't have SOUL anymore. I don't feel cold anymore, and I'm becoming too comfortable with seeing people tortured, killed, and just plain hurt."

They didn't answer, knowing he was right. He did change a lot, so they didn't say anything.

"But this is where you belong." Gideon said from the doorway. Hearing his voice... everybody turned around with shocked expressions. After a short moment, he spoke again. "I didn't leave just from that. The job was killing me, I wasn't strong enough. You are though, Spencer. You don't have to leave just because of what I said. What I told you was inaccurate. When the job starts killing you, and eating away at your mind is the time to leave, not when you feel like you don't feel anything. You just don't know how to feel." Still shocked, nobody said anything.

"Why are you here?" Reid asked, not knowing if he should be happy or mad.

"I called him. I knew he'd talk to you. Go out for a while and think." He was about to protest, but Gideon already took his arm and led him out of the BAU. -

"So what is this about?" Gideon asked as they watched the sun set.

"I can't do this any more. I-I don't know anything. I've been through everything, and don't know how to feel about this job, and I need to know."

"So you're giving up on this job. Since when do you give up?"

"I'm not. I'm just going to take some time off to find out if I'm right for this job. I just need to clear my head." Gideon nodded and seemed to drift away like dust.

He blinked his eyes and when he opened them, he was in Hotch's office.

"Are you alright? You zoned out."

"Uh, yeah. I was just... um. I was going to see if I could take some time off."

"Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, everything's fine. It's just I need to think about some things."  
Reid just smiled, and Hotch nodded.

"Don't leave the BAU, it's where you belong." Gideon's voice drifted through Reid's mind as he left the room.

(When this began)  
I had nothing to say And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me (I was confused)  
And I let it all out to find That I'm not the only person with these things in mind

A/N: Okay, holy short, but I liked how it turned out. The 'quote' or song is Somewhere I Belong by Linkin Park, yes more linkin park. If you read my profile, you'd've already known I'm obsessed. 


End file.
